I know that there are many of you who remember the movie Groundhog Day. In this 1993 film, (yes, I’m Old!) the main character, Phil Connors, played by Bill Murray finds himself reliving Groundhog Day over and over again. He stays trapped in this cycle that causes him to relive the same day for what many who have seen the movie, believe to be years. To make a long movie short, (101 minutes) the character finally finds a way out of his predicament. The way out of his circumstances was brought by transformation. When he changed he was released from this cycle! (plus he won the heart of the girl)!
Many of us live in a Groundhog Day scenario by getting stuck in our thoughts and negativity. The things we hope changes don’t, mainly because we think too much of the same negative way over and over again! According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of people’s thoughts are negative, and 95% of those thoughts are repetitive. These are thoughts people struggle with, and will continue to struggle with, putting them in a cycle of living with the same results over and over again. What they experienced yesterday, they will experience tomorrow!
People tell me in counseling sessions, on a perpetual basis, “I can’t help what I think about, the thoughts are just there in my head! I can’t do anything about them. They seem to control how I feel and what I do!”
While I understand how natural it is to experience those negative, gloomy thoughts, it’s important to understand that we can do something with them and about them. We do have the ability to arrest and overcome disabling thought patterns that bombard our minds and control our lives. Whether we deal with thoughts of hopelessness, depression, despair, shame, or fear. Or if the mental struggles are regarding lack or scarcity mindset or even seemingly uncontrollable thoughts of a lascivious nature, we have the power within us to change those thought patterns that lead our lives to an unhealthy place. Thoughts do lead to feelings, attitudes, choices, and actions. Looking back on our lives weI have to admit that a lot of the actions we took were due to unhealthy thoughts we had regarding something, someone or ourselves.
There are a few ways of thinking that I want to address briefly. Simply being aware of our negative patterns, can be helpful to make the changes that we need to make. Transformation is possible! Change is possible!
One pattern of haunting mindsets, involves thoughts regarding finality. These are thoughts that deal with only seeing an unchangeable conclusion to some thing or area of our lives. Those thoughts that tell us, “This (I / he / she / it) will ALWAYS be this way! Or circumstances will NEVER be any other way!” This mindset robs us hope for the future and reinforces anxiety, fear, and heartache.
Nearly all limiting ways of thinking have to do with perception. Choosing to see only a part of the picture of our circumstances is harmful. What’s even more harmful is not seeing that all thoughts we have are not necessarily the truth, just because we think them! Many people choose to focus on the negative, even when there are other positive parts to a story or situation. I’ve had a sign over my chair in my office for several years that says this. “Don’t allow the presence of the part to determine the perception of the whole.” Often our sight and thoughts are focused on a particular blemish instead of the benefit or the positive within a scenario. This is evident in relationships when a person is focused on a negative trait of their partner, while disregarding the many good qualities of that person. The same holds true in scenarios like jobs, churches, or group memberships, etc.
Rumination is a word I used to dislike, but I find myself using it quite often! It’s the chronic, repetitive thinking on the negative, causing feelings of dread. King David made this statement in the Bible, in the book of Psalms, chapter 19, verse 14. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation (rumination) of my heart be pleasing to you oh God.” David wasn’t referring to intentionally sitting down in a quiet place to meditate on something he wanted to manifest. That kind of meditation can be helpful, but he was referring to his automatic, subconscious thoughts that flowed from the beliefs of his heart. The beliefs of our heart are what we live out of. They guide our lives! If we want to change our behavior, we must change our thoughts and beliefs. Many of us have tried behavior modification to bring some kind of change, but we know what a chore that can be. It’s only when we change our deepest-seated beliefs that our behavior changes automatically.
Some of us are guilty of catastrophizing. This is when we fixate on the worst possible scenario or outcome. It is such a challenging way of thinking. It’s having faith in the negative. It’s a way of manifesting what we fear. The Old Testament character Job made this statement after experiencing a major loss in his life - “The thing I feared most has come upon me.” The story of Job is one of the most “head scratching-est” (my own made up word) stories in the bible. I’m not saying that everything bad that happens is due to our own fears! But I am saying, our fears are an expectation of what we think about with dread. There’s a good reason why the Bible has 365 scriptures instructing us to not be afraid. If God tells us to not be afraid, we must be able to not be afraid! Does this statement I made sound liberating or confusing? Or something else? Is it possible to live without fear, stress, and anxiety? Yes, thank God it is!
Unforgiveness, resentment and regret are also things that keep us from living our best lives. They are each a chain that locks us to the past. They hinder us from moving forward into a healthier life, and from the vision that God has for us. While resentment has to do with our judgment towards others, regret has to do with judgment towards ourselves, and unforgiveness has to do with judgment towards either of the two. Judgment is an expected penalty or sentence passed on someone. When we judge others, our judgment towards others comes back to us like a boom-a-rang. When it does, it seems to ask us this question - what does this (scenario or situation regarding another person who I’m judging) say about me? We typically answer that question in the wrong way, and create a feeling of insignificance and lack about ourselves. Or, we apply too much significance to ourselves that blinds us from seeing the complete truth. Jesus said, “For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged; and with the same measure you use, it will be measured to you.” While a few translations insert God into this verse, it’s really not referring to God judging us - it’s referring to judgment of our own heart bringing judgment to ourselves. This judgment creates questions regarding our own sense of significance, which in turn creates a negativity regarding our identity. Our heart is the seat of our identity, and we live our lives out of these beliefs of our heart.
So, what’s a person to do about these and other negative mindsets? We begin with accepting responsibility for our thought life. Our thoughts come from three sources. We are intelligent beings who are able to generate our own thoughts. We also receive thoughts from the kingdom of light. God speaks to us and leads us, as is indicated many times in scripture. We are also susceptible to receiving thoughts from the kingdom of darkness. These are the thoughts that can bring a sense of gloom and doom, envy, anxiety, dread and many other things that lead to negative or shamefull feelings. Every thought that we have, has the potential to lead to a feeling, and eventually an attitude, a decision, and an action. Have you ever done something and looked at the results and said, “What the heck was I thinking?” It was generally the thoughts we accepted from the kingdom of darkness that created that slide down the slippery slope!
God’s word is a powerful and active force in our lives. However, to the degree that we believe it, is the degree that it works in our lives. Ephesians 3:20 reminds us that, “God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that is at work in us!” God’s power works according to the level that we agree with Him! If we believe that we have God’s help and power to catch, challenge, and change our thoughts, then we will do so. If we don’t believe it, we won’t. We are instructed to arrest and take captive the thoughts of darkness that we are presented with. Just because a thought comes to us, doesn't mean we have to dwell on it. We are informed in scripture to die to the flesh, (our fleshly nature). The Apostle Paul wrote that how he lives free from the flesh is in accordance with how he MINDS (thinks about) the things of the flesh. Sometimes, all it takes is a thought or two to breathe life into that old Adamic nature. Romans chapter twelve instructs us to not be conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of our minds. This is not talking about scripture memorization. While that’s important, this verse is telling us to renew the way we process thoughts. The mind is part of the soul, which is the combination our mind, will and emotions. This has to do with the way we think, choose, and feel. It all works together. Clearly, God has given us the responsibility as well as the power to control our thought life, which in turn affects the fruit we bear and actions we take. That’s transformation!
When we struggle with anxiety or stress, we can remember that scripture tells us in Isaiah 26:3 “I will keep you in perfect peace, if your minds (imagination) is stayed on me.” God wants us to trust him in trying times. Thinking on His promises and speaking His promises help us to transform our lives!
There are promises from God in His word that gives us hope and victory in every situation of life, even Groundhog Day thinking! We must take responsibility for our thought life. We can stop the torturing thoughts that run rampant in our lives! Getting out of these cycles requires discipline, but this work brings transformation with it. With His grace we overcome!
For more personal help or counseling with this topic, please contact me through the information provided on my website, www.ascendchristiancounseling.com
I’d love to help you on your journey, and help you in creating a new way of thinking, believing, and experiencing God’s truth for your life.
Be well!
Michael
