My Goal Is Healing—Not Lifelong Counseling
My mission is to help you find true healing and freedom, not to keep you in counseling forever. (Though I’m always a fan of an occasional check-up!)I Use Time-Tested, Biblically Sound Resources
I rely on trusted, faith-based principles and proven tools that have stood the test of time to help you live a healthy, balanced life.A Relaxed, Non-Clinical Atmosphere
I offer a comfortable and down-to-earth setting where you can feel safe and at ease. (But no, pajamas aren’t part of the dress code!)I’m Lighthearted—but Serious About Your Healing
I love to laugh and keep things real, but when it comes to your growth and recovery, I take that very seriously.I Believe in Whole-Person Wellness
God cares about your spirit, soul, and body—and I do too. Together, we’ll pursue healing that touches every part of who you are.The Holy Spirit Is Always Welcome
The Holy Spirit is the true Counselor. He knows more about you than you know about yourself, and His guidance is always welcome in our sessions.Real Change Matters
Change isn’t change until there’s actual transformation. If things feel stuck, we’ll work together to identify what’s holding you back so you can grow and move forward.Identity Is Everything
Knowing who you are in Christ changes everything. When you begin to see yourself the way God sees you, you’ll start living as the best version of yourself—authentic, confident, and whole.No Weather Excuses!
Whether it’s snowing, raining, or blazing hot, we can still meet! If weather keeps us from meeting in person, we’ll simply connect virtually.Your Privacy Is Sacred
I’ll never ask you for a five-star review or public testimonial. Your counseling journey is private, personal, and completely confidential.At Ascend Christian Counseling, my heart is to help you rise above the weight of what’s been holding you down and step into the wholeness God designed for you—spirit, soul, and body.
Ready to take that step?Email me at michael@ascendchristiancounseling.com or call 941-539-7972 to begin your journey upward.
I Hope We Don't...I Hope We Do!
I'm very thankful for the recently agreed upon peace treaty in the middle east. Who among us doesn't want a world of safety and peace?
However, peace not centered on the prince of peace is not lasting peace.
True peace only comes from Christ. In John 14:27, Jesus told us, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; its not like the peace that the world gives."
The definition of the world's peace is, The absence of conflict or war. The peace Jesus gives to us refers to Peace in spite of conflict or war.
There will always be a war between good and evil. There will be wars when good and evil are indeterminable in knowing which is which! Internal and external conflict has been around since the Garden of Eden and the story of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Good and evil will continue to be at war through Armageddon..
The Apostle Paul spoke about peace in his time that applies to us now. Regarding the age we now live in, 1 Thessalonians 5:3 gives us insight to part of what’s going on in our world now.,
"But as far as times and seasons go, my brothers, you don’t need written instructions. You are well aware that the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as a burglary to a householder. When men are saying “Peace and security” catastrophe will sweep down upon them as suddenly and inescapably as birth-pangs to a pregnant woman."
Let me insert this tidbit of truth here; Nothing is ever as it appears! In any given situation, there's always something else going on that we don't see! I’m sorry to say that this “deal” has more to it than what we know. The lines of demarcation will be blurry.
Ephesians 2:14-16 gives us hope of a new peace treaty with God.
"For Jesus himself is our peace, who has made the two groups, (Jew and Gentile) one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, (between God and humanity, and between humanity and other humanity) by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility."
So, as much as I love the idea of the current peace talks, I hope we don’t put our hope in a peace treaty made by men. I hope we do place our hope in the God of peace who treaties with us to provide peace with Him, each other, and peace within our hearts in spite of the circumstances in this world we live in..
Jesus is our Peace!
Are You Being Followed?
In this crazy age we live in, it’s wise to keep an open eye to our surroundings. The Bible tells us we are being followed! Don’t be alarmed though, it’s a good thing.
Psalms 26:3 tells us. “Surely… goodness and mercy will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house (presence) of the Lord forever!”
I don’t know about you but I’ll take all the goodness and mercy that God sends my way! What a great promise to live in!
Prayer: Father, in Jesus’ name I appreciate all your blessings. Thank you for pursuing me with goodness and mercy. Thank you that in Christ I have all things that pertain to life and godliness. Help me to be a blessing to others today so that I can impact your Kingdom in a powerful and positive way!
AMEN!
Ascend Christian Counseling is Now Accepting New Clients!
Two Stories
We are destined to live our lives by one of two stories. Each of these two stories lead to how we feel, interpret, decide and act throughout our lives. Both stories have equal power to determine our future. Both stories are based upon what and how we think.
The first story is the story that God tells us about us. It’s a story of unconditional love and acceptance through Christ. This uncommon love, found in the Hebrew word “Hesed’” is the kind of love that refuses not to love, in spite of life’s report cards or performances. This story includes His willingness to send His son to die for us so that He could be our substitute, pay sin’s penalty for receive Christ’s reward. It’s a story based upon the truth as God sees it, of our potential, value, significance and our purpose that was deposited into us during the season of our mother’s womb. It’s partly described in Psalms 139. It tells how divinely unique and uniquely divine the creator made us. This tale encourages us to press onward during difficult times because courage and strength are promised to us. If we face the best of times or the worst of times, God’s plan is that we are destined to be more than conquerors. Each chapter of this story supports our faith and determination. This opinion God has of us is founded on the fact that He sees us “In Christ” and “Christ in us”. It’s the best story and version of ourselves that we could ever imagine. What sounds like a fable and fairy tale is actually the highest truth that exists.
Then there’s the second story: This second story has the power to override the first. We tend to accept it because it’s based upon facts as we see them, therefore it appears to be more believable to us. This is the story Michael tells Michael about Michael. It’s the story you tell yourself about yourself. It’s the tale of the human heart that plays inside each of us throughout our lives. It consists of specific, descriptive, diminishing, condemning words we tell ourselves on an ongoing basis. It’s the words of parents, family members, teachers, coaches, supposed friends, and others that find their way into our story in a convincing manner. These words have become automatic in the way we internally process our life and our identity. This story is not just composed of the words we use to describe ourselves, but it’s also made up from the questions we ask about ourselves. C.S. Lewis said, “It’s critically important to examine the assumptions within a question”. I’m sure that this statement applies to politics, religion, and many other areas of life, but this also applies to our story – It applies to our identity. When we compare ourselves to others, when we are overly judgmental to ourselves, about ourselves. We ask ourselves questions like, why do I always_____, why can’t I be a better_____, why don’t I____? As we do, we drive the assumptions about ourselves deeper into the beliefs of our hearts. This story is the story of our identity. It determines the filters by which we perceive ourselves, our value and significance. Our personal sense of identity also determines how will relate to others, God and the world around us in general.
Proverbs 4:23 encourages us to guard our hearts with all diligence because out of it flow the issues of life. The heart, is the seat of our identity. God’s word encourages us to guard our hearts, from the wrong story, because the story we believe will direct our lives.
If we accept the failures of our past to be our story, we will approach ourselves, others, God and the world around us out of failure.
As a man (or woman) thinks in their heart, so are they! Proverbs 23:7. There are a couple truths in this scripture that time prevents me from explaining here, but one truth is that the beliefs of our hearts will direct our behavior. We all live our lives out of the story we believe in our hearts. This is why we must bring into harmony the story we tell ourselves about ourselves with the story that God tells us about us.
The amount of courage or lack thereof we have is determined by the story we believe to be true about ourselves. The success or failure we experience is, at least to a large degree, an expression of the story our heart believes. All our issues flow from our own hearts. When we change the beliefs of our heart, typically about our accepted identity, we change outcomes, we change behavior, we change our future and the future of our descendants.
There are some who tell themselves a positive story about themselves. It may not be healthy, but it is positive – temporarily! We all know those people who appear to have it all together. They are confident, and enviable. Their identity seems to have no chinks in it. However, when the winds of adversity blow, when the ground shakes, when the market collapses, when all hell breaks loose – will they still be standing? The trying times reveal to us what we are founded upon. It’s only when we are solidly founded in an identity built upon Christ and His word that we will have a healthy sense of identity. That’s the solid rock. That’s the firm foundation. All other ground is sinking sand.
God has an opinion of you that is greater than anything we could think or imagine. His word declares a story about you that is full of purpose. It’s fulfilling. It’s a choice to believe. His story about you is bursting with Kingdom life and potential.
We have the ability to change our story through the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s word.
Thankfully, we can renew our minds and hearts to the new information that God’s story tells us. Our biggest hindrance to a life well lived is not your enemy – it’s not the people who mistreated you – its not the opposing political party – it’s not even the devil! Our biggest hindrance to being the people God created us to be is the lie we believe about ourselves! Debunk the lies!
I want to encourage you to meditate on the things that God’s word says about you. You are more than a conqueror! You are loved and accepted in Christ! You are created with purpose for His purpose and glory! You are enough because of what Jesus did! It’s time to change the story we tell ourselves about yourselves. God’s opinion and perspective represent the most powerful truth we can live in!
There's an app, (I mean a grace) for that!
In 2009, Apple came out with the slogan, “There’s an app for that”. This commercial promoted the various applications available to the user of their new iPhone.
If you want to do your banking with your phone? There’s an app for that! Do you want to shop online? There’s an app for that! If one wanted to order concert tickets, there was an app for that too. A whole new world opened to us, that is now commonplace for a person to do more things from their cell phone than could be done from a computer.
I don’t think that was an original idea though. About 2000 years ago, God provided a grace to us for everything we have need of!
Hebrews 4:16 encourages the reader to “Come boldly before the throne of grace to find mercy and grace to help us in our time of need.”
This scripture promises mercy, which is forgiveness, and grace, which is empowerment, in our time of need!
Our walk of faith is a walk of grace. We are saved by grace, and we continue needing grace throughout our journey. Grace is the power to be and do what we can’t be and do by ourselves. The gospel of John tells us that Jesus provides grace upon grace. We need different graces for different things. There’s a grace at salvation, an enabling to become children of God. That’s the greatest grace of all!
The Apostle Paul said, “I’m an Apostle by the grace of God.” He didn’t claim his education or influence was the base of this calling. It was the grace of God, that enabled him. He was the same author who credited the grace of God for helping him through his hard times as well. The Lord spoke to Paul and said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Paul describes many of his trials including beatings, imprisonments, shipwrecks, threats of death, robbers, false brethren and so on. He claims to have overcome these difficult times by the grace of God.
The Apostle Peter called the grace of God multi-faceted. I think of a diamond when I read this verse. A diamond does not become beautiful until it is cut, or faceted. It takes the facets or cut angles to collect light from different directions and feed the light into the diamond causing them to reflect internally off each other, creating the brilliance. When we accept the grace of God into our lives, in multiple areas of our lives, there’s a similar brilliance, or glory that reflects from our lives.
There’s a grace for all things we need help with. The only prerequisite to receive that grace is humility. Scripture informs us that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Displaying humility is simply recognizing our need for help and asking. What do you need help with? There’s a grace for that! Struggling in a relationship? There’s a grace for that! Need wisdom for your future? there’s a grace for that!
So, if you’re feeling weak in an area of your life, remember that God’s power is made perfect in (our) weakness. But there’s an empowering grace that’s available for the asking.
What’s a one-word definition for grace? Help! God offers help as we boldly and assuredly come before him in prayer. Whatever we need, THERE’S A GRACE FOR THAT!
What is Christian Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
Cognitive Behavior Therapy is based on the idea that how we think (cognition), how we feel (emotion) and how we act (behavior) all interact together. Specifically, our thoughts determine our feelings and our behavior. Therefore, negative and unrealistic thoughts can cause us distress and result in problems.
CBT is an approach to counseling with statistics to verify its effectiveness and value. There are questions raised as to whether Christians should consider this approach to counseling. Many Christian counselors believe that CBT is very much in line with God’s word and that utilizing CBT techniques is successful in helping Christians recognize faulty core beliefs and negative patterns of thinking and processing. Christian counseling utilizing CBT even has advantages over a secular approach to CBT counseling.
According to Christian Psychologist, Dr. Mark R. McMinn, “There are at least two reasons why Christians are well suited for this method (of counseling).
First, cognitive therapy requires clients to compare their thoughts with truth to see if they are understanding reality accurately. This is challenging for agnostics, who have difficulty finding standards for truth. Christians believe truth is revealed in scripture, giving them a useful way to evaluate their thoughts.”
“The second reason this method is well suited to Christians is that they believe in God’s love - the only love that is purely unconditional. Many people, due to flawed relationships, find that their deepest fears stem from rejection, abandonment or lack of love. Treating these fears requires disputing their core beliefs. These beliefs can more easily be disputed by people who acknowledge God’s unconditional love. While those closest to us sometimes are the cause of these fears and beliefs, God’s love never results in rejection.”
With CBT, we visit past events in the lives of clients, but only to bring healing to events and traumatic experiences. We are encouraged by scripture to not live in the past or let the past dominate our lives. The Apostle Paul was perhaps the most persecuted of all Apostles. It was from a Roman prison cell that he wrote a letter to the believers at the church of Philippi. He was threatened with execution on a regular basis, and by the grace of God had survived severe torture and miserable circumstances. Somehow he found joy and strength to write these words of encouragement to his friends:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think on these things. (Phil. 4:8)
Paul endorsed a view about thoughts and feelings that coincides with two basic assumptions of cognitive therapy: Bad events do not require us to feel awful and that healthy thinking allows us to control our feelings. Events contribute to feelings, but they do not cause feelings. CBT believes that healthy, accurate thinking enables people to cope with life’s trials.
CBT coincides with Scripture in “taking every thought captive.”
2 Cor 10:5, The apostle Paul teaches us that we are to take every thought captive and make it submissive to Christ. We are instructed to submit our thoughts to Jesus Christ. In challenging our self-talk, we learn to speak truth against lies. We learn to question what thoughts are truthful, and what thoughts are lies regarding who we are and our identity, how we see the world around us, and how we think about situations.
Renewing our mind is CBT
In Romans 12:2 we learn that we are transformed by renewing our minds. CBT describes how you can have a new perspective on the way you think, feel and behave by changing how you see events or situations. This can be done at any point in time, even reflecting upon past experiences. It is a quick tool to use by asking “Do I really believe this or not?” Renewing the mind is a major attribute of CBT.
These are positive examples of why CBT is a scriptural way to help Christians deal with many types of issues such as fear, stress, anxiety, self-image, as well as others.
Shame on You?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard the words, “Shame On You” during my childhood. In defense of my parents, I don’t believe that they understood the power of those words. I do believe they were attempting to help me understand right from wrong. But those words, along with other deflating words and events, had a lasting effect on my self image, well into my adult years.
Shame affected me in many ways. While I won’t take the time to get into all of them now, I will mention a few. Shame caused me to feel stuck at times; like I couldn’t move forward or past things. It made me feel like I needed to be super spiritual in ways to compensate for my failures and shortcomings. Shame also created these feelings of being attached to the traumatic things that happened to me. It caused me to emotionally hide from people. Shame kept me in a “living life on the surface mode” with no depth, and feeling alone - even in a group of people. Shame does that to us!
Maybe you can relate to some of these things I mentioned. Thankfully, there is grace and power through Christ to overcome shame. I’ve included a short list of five things we should know about shame. Number five is the best!
1. Shame is the toppling of Glory. God's intentions for us are glorious. He crowned mankind with glory and honor. Shame is a longing for restored glory and value. (Rom. 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory off God!)
2. Guilt is about our wrong actions, whereas shame is about who we are. (Shame is an attack on our sense of identity)
3. Shame limits our perception of EVERYTHING including God and ourselves!
4. Shame is the adhesive that binds us to trauma! We sometimes blame and shame ourselves, not only for what we've done, but for what has happened to us, perpetuating lies about our potential in Christ.
5. Our Freedom from Shame was accomplished through Christ's loving, redemptive work. (Isaiah 54:4 “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth… Ps.40:2 He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. Ephesians 1:6-7 We thank God for His loving-favor to us. He gave this loving-favor to us through His much-loved Son. 7 Because of the blood of Christ, we are bought and made free from the punishment of sin. And because of His blood, our sins are forgiven. His loving-favor to us is so rich.
We can break the chains of shame in our lives.
Don’t let shame keep you from seeking help!
RISE ABOVE IT AND ASCEND!
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Peace in Spite of Negative Circumstances!
One of my favorite scriptures is found in the Book of John, chapter 14, verse 27. Jesus said, “I give you peace, the kind of peace only I can give. It isn’t like the peace this world can give. So. don’t be worried or afraid.”
If one were to look at the meaning of the word peace in a dictionary, it would define it as, “The absence of conflict or war”. A world without conflict would be nice, but no one can argue that conflict isn’t part of the this world’s system. It’s built in to it!
However, there is the peace that Jesus talked about; another peace that transcends the natural, world-given kind of peace. In the scripture mentioned above, Jesus said, “I’m leaving you with a different kind of peace”. It’s a peace that passes comprehension or understanding. It’s a peace that abides within you, in spite of what we hear on the news, in spite of the condition of the world. It’s not circumstantial! It’s based on a trust and commitment to the character, presence, and word of God.
Jesus told his disciples, “Don’t be worried or afraid". Other translations of the same verse instruct us to “NOT LET our hearts be troubled, DON’T LET them be afraid”. There’s responsibility on our part of living in this beautiful promise - It’s guarding our hearts from all the, what-if’s, all the fears, and troubling expectations!
It’s critically important that we “take our negative thoughts captive, and bring them to the obedience of Christ”. ( II Corinthians 10:5) God promised that He would keep us in PERFECT PEACE, if we keep our thoughts and imagination on him! (Isaiah 26:3) Peace is a gift from God, but manifests in our lives as a product of prayer, trust, gratitude, obedience and being intentional with our thoughts! (Philippians 4:6-9) The God of Peace has promised to be with us! You and I can have His inner peace - in spite of the negative, external circumstances of this world.
Peace in Spite of Negative Circumstances!
One of my favorite scriptures is found in the Book of John, chapter 14, verse 27. Jesus said, “I give you peace, the kind of peace only I can give. It isn’t like the peace this world can give. So. don’t be worried or afraid.”
If one were to look at the meaning of the word peace in a dictionary, it would define it as, “The absence of conflict or war”. A world without conflict would be nice, but no one can argue that conflict isn’t part of the this world’s system. It’s built in to it!
However, there is the peace that Jesus talked about; another peace that transcends the natural, world-given kind of peace. In the scripture mentioned above, Jesus said, “I’m leaving you with a different kind of peace”. It’s a peace that passes comprehension or understanding. It’s a peace that abides within you, in spite of what we hear on the news, in spite of the condition of the world. It’s not circumstantial! It’s based on a trust and commitment to the character, presence, and word of God.
Jesus told his disciples, “Don’t be worried or afraid". Other translations of the same verse instruct us to “NOT LET our hearts be troubled, DON’T LET them be afraid”. There’s responsibility on our part of living in this beautiful promise - It’s guarding our hearts from all the, what-if’s, all the fears, and troubling expectations!
It’s critically important that we “take our negative thoughts captive, and bring them to the obedience of Christ”. ( II Corinthians 10:5) God promised that He would keep us in PERFECT PEACE, if we keep our thoughts and imagination on him! (Isaiah 26:3) Peace is a gift from God, but manifests in our lives as a product of prayer, trust, gratitude, obedience and being intentional with our thoughts! (Philippians 4:6-9) The God of Peace has promised to be with us! You and I can have His inner peace - in spite of the negative, external circumstances of this world.
Failure?
So you’ve failed in the past. Does this mean you're a failure?
If you're carrying the same mistakes from your past into your present, even if you know it’s wrong, you could have an unhealthy issue with your identity. Your identity has many compartments. You may seem healthy in some areas of identity, but be unhealthy in others. You might even have what appears to be a positive sense of identity, but it can still be unhealthy. Our heart is the seat of our identity. We all live out of the beliefs of our hearts. Our behavior is the result of those beliefs.
To change behavior, we must focus on changing the beliefs of our hearts. Behavior modification generally just leaves us exhausted in trying to change the symptom, but not healing the problem.
Is this scriptural? Absolutely!
Proverbs. 4:33. New International Version
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."
Proverbs 3:23 Complete Jewish Bible.
"Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life’s consequences."
Take a step in a healthy direction! Identity is Everything!
Inside out!
The mistakes I’ve made that hurt people.
The opportunities that I did not follow through on.
The feelings of not belonging.
That critical inner voice that compared myself to others.
The replayed, diminishing words of family members and ill-equipped leaders.
These were all signs of an unhealthy sense of Identity.
The truest you is not found in your failures, feelings, others opinions or your circumstances of lack.
One can have a positive sense of self and still not have a healthy sense of self. The truest, healthiest you is rooted in God's opinion of you. ESPECIALLY in the verses that include the phrases, In Christ, By Christ, Through Christ, With Christ.
Why? These verses represent how God Our Father sees us. Father knows best!
We all live out of the beliefs of our hearts, particularly the beliefs about self. Changing those unhealthy beliefs to healthy beliefs, changes our behaviors and lives!
Thankfully, God is all about transformation! He does it from the inside out!
If you can relate to this post and need help establishing your healthiest self, Call for an appointment today. 941-539-7972
Honestly, I Just don't Like This Scripture!
Before you judge me too harshly, let me explain. I do love God’s word. Like you, I have some favorite scriptures, (about 200 or so), but there are scriptures that challenge me.
The one I’m referring too in the title is found in the Book of James, Chapter 4, verses 2-4.
2-4 “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.“
I DON’T LIKE WHEN MY FAITH HAS TESTS AND CHALLENGES! Especially when it seems like these tests really do come at me from ALL SIDES! It’s these tests and trials that expose the true colors of our faith.
But this scripture tells us to consider it a gift! WHY? Because they help us mature. This scripture doesn’t say that these tests and challenges are even from God. After all, He can’t and won’t test us with evil. The fallen world we live in is a test all by itself. I don’t like being proven to be deficient in any way. Do you? The process of life’s challenges is necessary in order to achieve the desired result!
So, if I want maturity and to be well developed, I have to change my outlook! I have to change the way I look at tests and challenges, knowing that as I “trust God” in and through them, I’m being equipped for other things.
Let me share a couple of things that can help in moving through these trying times.
There’s always more going on than what we see in the moment. We only see in part. We only know in part. There is a bigger picture. The frustrations and irritations that we feel are based on a part - not the whole. God always has a bigger picture and a bigger plan. God’s plans are good. He said so! Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “ I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; they are good and not evil. They are plans that give you hope and a future and an expected end.”
Rest in the fact that his plan provides new appointments that have the power to override the the disappointments of our present and past.
There’s always a promise from God. During these times of, “the trying of our faith”, we can focus on the promises that God’s word has given us for every situation. I’ve yet to meet the Christian that does not need to grow more in certain areas of his or her life. Our trials, combined with faith and patience have the ability to, “Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”
God’s desire is that we are not deficient in any way - which means that God wants us to grow up into His ways and representation of Him.
I may not like the process while in the process, but I love the idea of being a better representation of Him. In all ways!
Honestly, I Just don't Like This Scripture!
Before you judge me too harshly, let me explain. I do love God’s word. Like you, I have some favorite scriptures, (about 200 or so), but there are scriptures that challenge me.
The one I’m referring too in the title is found in the Book of James, Chapter 4, verses 2-4.
2-4 “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.“
I DON’T LIKE WHEN MY FAITH HAS TESTS AND CHALLENGES! Especially when it seems like these tests really do come at me from ALL SIDES! It’s these tests and trials that expose the true colors of our faith.
But this scripture tells us to consider it a gift! WHY? Because they help us mature. This scripture doesn’t say that these tests and challenges are even from God. After all, He can’t and won’t test us with evil. The fallen world we live in is a test all by itself. I don’t like being proven to be deficient in any way. Do you? The process of life’s challenges is necessary in order to achieve the desired result!
So, if I want maturity and to be well developed, I have to change my outlook! I have to change the way I look at tests and challenges, knowing that as I “trust God” in and through them, I’m being equipped for other things.
Let me share a couple of things that can help in moving through these trying times.
There’s always more going on than what we see in the moment. We only see in part. We only know in part. There is a bigger picture. The frustrations and irritations that we feel are based on a part - not the whole. God always has a bigger picture and a bigger plan. God’s plans are good. He said so! Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “ I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; they are good and not evil. They are plans that give you hope and a future and an expected end.”
Rest in the fact that his plan provides new appointments that have the power to override the the disappointments of our present and past.
There’s always a promise from God. During these times of, “the trying of our faith”, we can focus on the promises that God’s word has given us for every situation. I’ve yet to meet the Christian that does not need to grow more in certain areas of his or her life. Our trials, combined with faith and patience have the ability to, “Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”
God’s desire is that we are not deficient in any way - which means that God wants us to grow up into His ways and representation of Him.
I may not like the process while in the process, but I love the idea of being a better representation of Him. In all ways!
It's Not An Easy Thing!
There’s no shame in needing help through the decision and process of FORGIVING OTHERS. More times than not, forgiveness is a journey not just a one time decision. The boundaries we create to keep our offenders out, can also keep us locked in with our offense, pain, and resentment. While those boundaries may temporarily make us feel safe, they can not be a healthy substitute for forgiveness!
The prisoner we set free is ourselves, when we choose to forgive! You don’t have to take this journey alone.
Surviving Estrangement ( With your sanity)! #9 The Root of Bitterness!
When experiencing estrangement from a loved one, we feel a myriad of emotions. The internal trying to make sense of it, the mental roller coaster ride with its ups and downs, loops and jolts, can be wearisome.
Whether we are the estranger or the estranged, It’s important to guard our hearts against the root of bitterness. There’s a pretty good chance that resentment or bitterness has already played a big part in the scenario anyway.
Bitterness is more than just an emotional state that involves sadness, resentment and anger. It can evolve from feeling unappreciated, unloved, disrespected, insulted or injured.
There are consequences that bitterness has on our physical health that cannot be overlooked. It fuels our stress levels which in itself can lead to many other physical issues.
Research has proven that chronic bitterness can weaken our body’s ability to fight off infections and illnesses. I’m not one get sick often, so when I do, I make it a practice to ask myself if what I’m experiencing is associated with any unhealthy, negative feelings like resentment or bitterness. A persistent release of stress hormones suppresses our immune system’s proper functioning - so not only do we have an “open door” for infections and sicknesses, our bodies can’t recover as quickly when we do get sick.
Our bodies also become more susceptible to risks of high blood pressure, which in turn adds to the possibility of heart disease and stroke .
Digestive issues, sleep disorders, accelerated aging, and chronic muscle aches and pains are also some of the ways bitterness can affect our physical health.
We also need to look at the fact that there is the spiritual aspect of bitterness. Bitterness at its core is a self-protecting judgment that we make about someone else. It seems like Jesus may have spoken once or twice about not judging others.
Hebrews 12:15 instructs believers in this way. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”
This scripture offers us a solution to bitterness! It’s not just a command and warning against it.
Bitterness is subject to the grace of God. When we offer our bitterness to God, He provides a grace that empowers us to live above it. Grace is the power to be and the power to do what we can’t be and do in our own strength! God’s grace has many facets to it. Grace is the basis of our salvation. Grace is also the enabling power to fulfill the will of God, as well as strength for obeying his word. In many instances of estrangement, bitterness is the root, that has empowered the problem, by both the estranger and the estranged!
Bitterness is also BLIND! It keeps us searching in the wrong direction, and only leads to deception.
According to the above mentioned scripture, the root of bitterness causes trouble, and defiles us.
Listen, I get it - estrangement is painful! Bitterness only adds to the pain, and increases chances of more pain, physically and spiritually. There is a grace that helps us to forgive. There is a grace that brings health and healing to our hearts and souls.
What is our response to God’s ability going to be? Will we release the bitterness. It’s at the root of many negative consequences we may be facing. It’s at the root of trouble in our lives. Let’s not fail to obtain the grace to forgive and move forward beyond the bitterness.
God Has Never Said OOPS!
Healing the BROKENHEARTED was intentionally placed in the redemptive mission of Christ!
The mission statement of Jesus is found in Luke 4:18-19,
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the POOR; he hath sent me to heal the BROKENHEARTED, to preach deliverance to the CAPTIVES, and recovering of sight to the BLIND, to set at liberty them that are BRUISED, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord”
He knew this world would bring heartbreak. He isn’t surprised by it! He hasn’t wondered about what to do. He made healing our hearts part of His plan! Your story has another chapter!
Listen to Yourself!
If you take the time to listen, you will hear a lot of things being said about you today. Some of these words will be encouraging and uplifting - some will not be! Some things we will hear may come from external sources. Someone will have an opinion of you and the things you do. More importantly, you will hear yourself speak to yourself, about yourself.
We all have enemies of our souls. I’m convinced that our biggest enemy is not the devil. After all, he is not eternal, he is not all knowing, or all powerful, and he can’t be everywhere at once.
Our biggest enemy is not our past, it’s not our race, or our current economic status. It is not our lack of education, our childhood dysfunctional home life, or lack of opportunity.
While these things can have an affect on us, they are only part of a story that makes up a bigger story that translates into our IDENTITY!
All of us have things written upon our hearts. It’s the things we have believed about ourselves that we live out daily!
Proverbs instructs us to “Guard our hearts, (the seat of our identity) with all diligence, because everything we do flows from it!” This scripture actually has nothing to do with guarding our hearts against other people, but being cautious with the information we perceive as the truth, predominantly about ourselves.
Our biggest enemy is the lie we believe about ourselves. We live what we have interpreted to be the truth about ourselves, even if it’s not truthful.
We are our best, most purposeful self when we see ourselves as God sees us!
So, have you listened to yourself - to the words and thoughts you tell yourself about yourself? You may repeatedly use a few choice words when describing yourself. Listen… Pay attention to the questions you ask yourself about yourself. Like, “Why do I always…?” or “Why am I so…? Do the things you believe about yourself align with the things God says and thinks about you?
Identity is everything! Renewing our minds to God’s word is the beginning of transformation! (Romans 12:1-2)
Today, listen to yourself - begin to catch, challenge and change your thoughts, you have and believe about yourself.
Take The "Lord I Need You" Challenge (John 15:5)
A few weeks ago, as I was driving to town in my truck, Matt Maher’s song, Lord I need You, came on the radio.
The lyrics, “Lord I need you, how I need you! EVERY HOUR I NEED YOU,” began to challenge me. I believe all of us who call ourselves Christians, recognize our need for God, in many ways. But I felt challenged to recognize how much I readily admit that I need Him, which also makes me recognize my attitude of independence, or my “I can do this on my own”attitude . Sure, I recognize my need for grace and forgiveness - consistently! I need strength and joy and wisdom - always. But do I believe that I really need him - EVERY HOUR?
So, I accepted this inner challenge of, throughout the day, telling God, “I NEED YOU!” As close as possible to each new hour, without necessarily setting an alarm, yet being cognizant in as many hours throughout my day - as I wake up - as I lay down to sleep - acknowledging that I NEED HIM!
I could tell immediately that this was going to be beneficial to me in many ways. Here’s a short list of ways it’s helped me and might help you too!
1. It drew my attention and recognition to God, helping me to recenter my thoughts, life and actions on him!
2. It reminded me of his abiding presence.
3. It opened doors of grace. (God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble)!
4. I became more submissive and open to His leading!
5. Helped me to bear spiritual fruit!
It’s been said, “What we look at grows, and what we look at the most grows the biggest!” Of everything that’s in my life, I want His presence to be the most evident. I want His promises and purposes to be manifested! The only way for that to happen is if I consistently LOOK AT HIM!
Perhaps you look for these things as well! If so, I want to invite you to take the “Lord I Need You Challenge!” It’s not to pressure, judge, or condemn ourselves or others over. It is intended to encourage you and help in the areas I’ve found help in, but possibly other areas as well!
LORD, I NEED YOU! EVERY HOUR I NEED YOU!
Jn. 15:5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me…you can do nothing.
Struggling with Finances?
Zig Ziglar is quoted as saying, “money isn’t everything but it ranks up there with oxygen.”
Nearly everything we want, need, desire, and dream of requires money. Money makes the world go ‘round more than love does! When we struggle financially, it seems to affect every other area of our lives.
We can provide scriptural evidence that money is important to God, the kingdom of God, and His people in general. There are approximately 2000 scriptures about money and possessions in the Bible, indicating its importance. Many of these scriptures speak to God’s generous nature and desire to meet the needs of His people.
So why do so many good people, who love God, struggle with financial hardship, as if their money is swept away with the current of life. Many people who I personally know are barely getting by, and some are not even close to being able to pay their bills. As much as we want to point a finger, the struggle “ultimately” can’t be blamed on politics, the times we are living in, or any other number of things that contribute to our financial frustrations. Before you stop reading, I’ll address this statement a little later in more detail.
Perhaps you are struggling right now with a financial hardhship. I’d like to simply point out three things to ponder that I hope will help. Actually, I have three questions to ask. This will certainly not be an exhaustive study on the topic, but I believe it might help realign our vision, thoughts and actions that can prepare us for increase!
First of all; do we believe God wants us to prosper and have our needs and even desires met? If we are going to pray for financial blessing and trust God to meet our needs, we must believe that it is God’s will, otherwise we can’t ask in faith. Scripture assures us that, “My God shall supply all of your needs, according to His riches in Glory, by Christ Jesus.” We are also told to, “Remember the Lord thy God, for it’s He that gives us the power to attain wealth, so that his covenant can be established in the earth.” The Apostle John wrote, “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be healthy, even as your soul prospers!”
I encourage you to google scriptures that speak about God’s will regarding finances, to create your own beliefs and build your faith regarding this topic. This is important! I don’t just want you to take my word for it. We all “live out of” the beliefs of our heart. That’s why you and I are instructed to “guard your heart with all diligence, because out of it flow all the issues of life!” Unhealthy and unscriptural beliefs lead to unhealthy issues. Money issues come from what we hold to be true about money!
Next - Are we looking to God as our source, or a job as our source. This is an area where we seem to get our eyes off of the abundance of God and onto other things. We stop trusting in the Lord and start leaning to our understanding, or what we can see, and hear!. Trusting in our job can only offer limited security and comfort but not true peace, because it’s a temporary situation. It can change without notice. God never changes! He is always the same. Sure, we are expected to work a job, or be self employed. But our job should be viewed as an avenue, not our source. If God can provide a widow in the Bible with enough oil to sell, and then live for the rest of her life - and if God can provide a prophet with food, brought to him by ravens in his time if need, God can provide for us in untypical ways also! When we look to someone or something else as our source, our faith and the supply becomes limited. When we view God as our source, he meets our needs “according to His riches in glory” (Phil. 4:19), not according to one avenue. As our source, He creates other avenues to help us from. There have been times I’ve received an unexpected check in the mail. There have been times when a gift from someone was given with the reason from the giver that “they felt like they (or God) wanted to bless me!” I don’t know about you, but I want a financial source with unlimited avenues, not an avenue as my source that has its built in limits.
God’s economic plan is not attached to the U.S. treasury. He is not affected by inflation. I believe he cares about the decisions made by whoever is in the White House, but if we are looking to God as our source and not other men, or the economic indicators, we can live from the supernatural flow of His kingdom! Jesus prayed that “God’s will would be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Heaven is not suffering financial hardships! After all, the streets are made of gold!
Finally, How stingy or generous are we, especially when things get tight financially? The golden rule applies all the time, not just when we feel like we have the most to offer. Sowing seeds into the lives of others can look like a lot of different things. We are encouraged to be friendly when we need a friend. We are also encouraged to give financially to the need of others when we ourselves have needs. Proverbs tells us that, “One gives freely and grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.” We are also instructed in Proverbs 11 that, “The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.”
The kingdom of God way of doing things does not always make sense, nor agree with the world’s philosophy. God sees our kindness and “doing unto others” as seeds that will bring us a harvest of the things we have sown. Giving to others, especially when we have a need that we don’t know how it will be met, opens another avenue for God to bless us with. Jesus’ own words in red are, “Give and it will be given back to, good measure, pressed down and shaken together, will be poured into your lap!”
God wants to bless us! He wants to be our source who can bless us through many avenues. He wants our trust placed in Him more than any other person or thing. He also wants to use our unselfish generosity towards others, to create an avenue in which he can bring his provision back around to us.
Be well!